Reflections on 9/11/01

I guess like everyone, I remember every little thing about where I was and what I was doing on that fateful day.  I remember saying out loud, "The terrorists have already lost because those first responders are going up those stairs when everyone else in the buildings are running in terror to get down them."  God, I never felt prouder to be an American. Really. That day I hugged more strangers than I ever had before or since.  I sat down and cried on the steps of St. John's Cathedral in downtown Boise. I grabbed the hand of a young man and we sat and cried together.I remember thinking that maybe this country will unite in response to the horrific events of that day. And we did for a short time. But of course it didn't last.  And now I think our divisions are even worse than they were then.  The Beloved Community of Martin Luther King's dream seems more and more distant and beyond reach. And the world continues to be threatened by terrorism, maybe more so than then.  

So beyond remembering and honoring the sacrifices of that day, what else?  How do I really honor the people who were sacrificed by a bunch of lunatics bent on murder and destruction? Here's my thought on that: turn the words "remember" and "honor" into action verbs. For me that means doing what I can to uphold what is best about our country and our democracy in an age when the forces are great that want to turn our democracy into an oligarchy. What I want to support and uphold are the values that have to do with civil liberties, the protections of the Bill of Rights, our innate compassion and sense of fairness, our instincts toward inclusion rather than fearful exclusion. These are the values that have always glued us together and will prevail one day I hope. I think that often Americans are perceived as a bunch of spoiled, overly privileged, children by some people around the world and that becomes an exaggerated and distorted viewpoint of persons who join the ranks of terrorists. So my way of honoring and remembering will continue to be to uphold the best in us, the better angels of our natures as our beloved Lincoln once said during another fearful moment in our history.

   

What does one write about after confessing to being a racist?

Yes, this would be the question.  Everything else might seem kind of anti-climatic.  Well, in my view, if we white folks just admitted to the terrible reality of racism, we would all be better off and might actually get somewhere in combatting it.  Anyway...I see that guy who posts on Facebook, HONY (Humans of New York) is discovering the great big world out there outside of New York City in areas of conflict around the world. Today he writing about a former child soldier who has made his life into helping others avoid his fate:

http://www.humansofnewyork.com/

I had the distinct and unusual wondrous experience of working with refugees from around the world for the last 10 years of my career.  So I learned so much about what we Americans tend to be sheltered from of some of the terrible happenings in the world.  I am forever grateful for the lessons taught me by my former clients.  Listening to their stories put my trivial problems into the perspective to which they belonged.  Another wonderful site to learn about what is going on in the world of refugees is the UNHCR site (United Nations High Commission On Refugees):

http://www.unhcr.org

Photo by Steve Lester

I just read this on upworthy, which I get on Facebook.  Please take a look.  It is more about what is happening on our border with Mexico.  This whole drama has conveniently receded from the headlines and day to day conversation.  But refugees still suffer a perilous journey to get here.  See what you think:

http://www.upworthy.com/shocking-yes-preventable-most-certainly-cruel-you-bet?c=ufb1

Racism In America, Land of the Free

Turns out I am a racist

As much as I prefer to see myself as  wonderful, without any type of fault and all that hoo hah, like we all do, I must embrace (before I can cleanse myself) of my own racism.  The events in Ferguson, Missouri should force all whites in this country to face honestly the reality of white privilege and the legacy of slavery that we carry in our DNA.  It is the only way forward to a future where racism is eradicated from our culture. We cannot look at that cop in Ferguson and condemn him if we don't see the racist fueled fear, that caused him to kill an unarmed African American young man, in ourselves.  Whether that young man stole something from a store or not is irrelevant.  His story is for someone else's telling.  The story lies for me and for all whites in the moment that the white cop pulled the trigger.  The story lies in the crazy extreme overreaction by the police force to the protesters.  It was all fear fueled by racism.  So that leads me to have to admit, with shame and humility, that I don't know if I were in that police officer's place if I would have reacted the same or differently.  Because I know, without a doubt, that I carry all of that poison that is the legacy of slavery in this country in my blood and bones.  I know it as well as I know I am sitting here typing. I wish it were not that way, but it is. 

Let me tell you a story about myself that illustrates the point I am trying to make.  Only just a few years ago I was at the Boise airport.  I was looking to check my luggage and there was no one out in front to do it.  Well, I am looking around and out the front door comes this African American man.  I said, "Oh, are you the luggage check guy?"  Just as innocent as could be.  He just looked at me and said, "No, I'm not".  But he had the most hurt and sort of bewildered look on his face.  I didn't say anything, except,"oh, I'm sorry" or something like that. He walked on and I walked on in our own worlds. I was dumbfounded by that moment.  But I have not forgotten it and never will.  To me it was like the spontaneous unconscious expression almost projectile vomiting of the racism that I carry within me.   There was no excuse for what I did, period.  I was too humiliated to walk up to this man and say, Oh, Jesus, I am so sorry.  Please forgive me or something.  What I'm trying to say here, is if that could come out of me so spontaneously and with so little thought, what else is in there? I know someone out there is going to want to let me off the hook.  It might be someone of color who might want to tell me I'm being to hard on myself.  Or some white person who wants to tell me that "my ancestors weren't even here during slavery days".  But I don't want to be let off the hook and nor should any other white person in this country. It is a form of malignant collective denial that any white person in this country should be let off this particular hook.  And I'm not beating myself up either.  I am just acknowledging a truth. That is the truth that all of us here are poisoned by racism and we all must participate personally and publicly to eradicate this from our collective unconscious.  All.

 Photo by Steve, taken on Cape Cod

Goodbye to Robin Williams

In do hope that Robin Williams woke up in a place that looked like this, free of the pain that caused him to take his own life. I am somewhat concerned that his actions might model to others suffering with mental illness and addiction something like: "If someone like Robin Williams with all his material resources couldn't find some way to overcome his pain, other than by suicide, then what hope is there for me?" I'm not saying, either, that suicide is the worst thing that can ever happen. Living with intolerable psychic or physical pain or the terrible disease of addiction might be worse than suicide. I don't know. I do think, however, that trying to live with all that plus the burden of celebrity was maybe the one thing too much for Mr. Williams. People should not have to carry our collective projections of "happiness"and "importance" for us. Truthfully, if not being a celebrity might have saved his life, I would have gladly foregone the delight he brought to me and anyone who watched him perform. Maybe he would have just been your crazy funny neighbor, working in a bookstore, delighting all his customers. The world would have only been brighter in his little corner of it. Then maybe he could have continued on with healing into life instead of into death, to borrow a phrase from Stephen Levine. So to any reader out there or friend of a reader, keep on in your own little corner of the world. Let Mr. Williams' life be an example to you, not his death.

 

Livin' Without It

My Mojo went out to buy cigarettes and has not returned.

I thought I might find him in a monastery, might bring him back

Then when I found

The bastard  he was all

"Just wanted to, you know, chill out, baby"

So I slapped him across the face and:

I just walked. Said nothing, 

Just walked

Linda Lester

Thoughts about aging in community

This is a photo of the Potala in Lhasa taken by my husband, Steve.

Hi all, I just lost the post I was working on through my own apparently unending ignorance about how to do stuff on this blog.  Anyway, what I was talking about is that I have been thinking lately about the concept of Intentional Community especially as it relates to aging.  I have a long time interest in cohousing, which is a living environment that incorporates the concept of intentional community.  Basically the idea is that people come together who want to live in community.  Usually the dwellings are separate family type dwellings, either condo like or maybe town homes or even single family homes. Usually the communities are developed around a common interest or activity.  Some are developed around urban gardens, sustainable living or something like that.  I saw one in Portland that was developed around a shared interest in urban biking.  Like commuter bikers, that kind of thing.  Anyway, there are many different kinds and maybe hundreds of these communities in the U.S. and many more all over the world.  Scandinavian countries are kind of where this concept began, I think.  There are a number of these places that are for seniors. These ones are developed around the idea of people wanting to age together, care for others in that process and be cared for in return, with the idea that one would stay in the community as long as possible and maybe pass on in the community.  

Both Steve and I have dreamed about the  idea of joining together with friends of about the same age and living together as we continue to age.  The vicissitudes of timing, geographic considerations, etc. may make that dream kind of hard to realize. .  However, I don't think that the idea of joining an already existing senior cohousing community is that far off.  Here is a link, in case you might want to look more into the concept of cohousing:  http://www.cohousing.org

Here is one for senior cohousing:   http://www.elderspirit.net