Year End (No politics or commentary on the state of the world, I promise)

Well, folks, another Christmas has come and gone and almost another year.  I am using this format to write what used to be an annual Christmas letter, which has gone the way of many things of that nature.  It is not that I will never write one again.  I probably will.  I love getting them, and this way is so much less interesting, really. So there's that...  This also will serve as my 1 year anniversary of "going down the rabbit hole" of retirement.  Wonderland and so forth.  Christmas was fun and as always, the food was mighty good.  My in laws, Suzanne and Max Lester were there in full spirit, all 91 years of them.  It is a joy and pleasure that they spent yet another Christmas with their family, all 12 of us here in Boise.  

Okay, so retirement.  It is all it is cracked up to be, in case you are wondering. I love not working.  As I have said before, here and elsewhere, I am ever grateful for my career and I am so glad I am no longer doing it.  I have left it happily and with great confidence to younger people, who I had the pleasure to supervise and mentor sometimes.  I wish all of you out there contemplating retirement the same feeling of gratitude for the work you have done and the wonderful feeling contentment that this last year has brought to me.  Those of you already retired, I only hope that it has been as great for you.  

So here is the past year in a nutshell, more or less.  At the end of January, I traveled out to Cape Cod to assist Steve's Aunt Kay to transition into assisted living.  She has landed in paradise as far as I could fathom.  It was a grand couple of weeks.  I'm telling you, I would move there in a heart beat.  Great place.  I highly recommend visiting assisted living places (I also visited several here while exploring care options for Suzanne and Max...they are still happily at home, however.). It kind of takes some of the scare out of the idea of maybe needing care myself some time in the future.  Most of the places I visited were very nice, very comfortable and many had fabulous food.  

Then some other things happened between February and June, which I can't quite recall right now. One thing I do seem to recall is that Steve and I attended the wedding of my nephew, Tom at the beginning of June.  He married a lovely young woman named Vanessa and they are happily ensconced in their lives and working as attorneys down in SoCA. At the end of June, I helped my good friend, Joan move to Missoula from Boise.  She decided to go to help care for her great granddaughter, June.  It was a bit of an adventure getting there.  I drove the U Haul truck (admittedly, a small one) while she followed behind me in her car with her two kitties and a bunch of stuff that wouldn't fit in the truck.  Missoula, it turns out, is the hip, young college town capitol of the world.  Really nice town.  Reconnected with an old friend of mine from my W.S.U. days.  

In the meantime, I started volunteering for the English Language Center, which is affiliated with the Idaho Office for Refugees.  I have been helping out in the beginning class.  This class has folks just off the boat (most of them, anyway).  Many of these students don't have literacy in their own language, so their challenge is great.  I have absolutely loved doing this.  I go a total of 4 hours a week.  I also started spending a couple of scheduled afternoons with Suzanne and Max, helping them out with a variety of issues.  I spend about 6 hours per week with them.  That has been so wonderful and fulfilling for me.  It has helped to keep me off the streets and aided them with different things.  It has been an absolute pleasure.  The other thing I have done is gone to a couple of classes at the Osher Institute, which is affiliated with B.S.U. It is a learning program for older people, a category that I apparently fit into.  I've taken classes on meditation and one on digital memoirs.  I found the latter to be very interesting and kind of compelling, although I bet I never get around to doing any kind of memoir, digital or otherwise.  One thing about these classes.  I look around at the other folks and think to myself, "Really?  Am I really as old as all these folks look to me?  Are they looking at me thinking the same?"  Nobody prepared me for this particular phenomenon.  Not identifying with one's  age group.  Never been an issue before.  

My Aunt Helen died in September. She was 95 and the last link to my parents.  She was my mom's sister.  I had been planning to get down there, but wasn't able to make it before she died.  In the process of her decline, which happened very quickly, I became acquainted by phone and cyberspace with the son (Jens) of her ex-husband.  Not a step son. He was born after Helen was divorced from his dad.  Anyway, that was a very interesting experience, to learn of how they became involved with one another (long story) and to witness his devotion to her to the end.  I helped out the best I could from afar, but Jens did all the hands on stuff. Anyway, by the time I was able to get there (Santa Rosa, CA) her ashes had been scattered in a tiny garden and that was that.  My brother and myself had a somewhat difficult relationship with Helen. So I was grateful for Jens and glad that Helen was loved and cared for by him.  It's always a good thing to witness kindness and compassion up close and personal.

Steve and I took a little vacation up to Wallowa Lake in September with my brother, Don and sister in law, Ruth, which was fabulous.  We stayed in a very nice house and it was splendid all the way around.  I went back with them to the Bay Area, (the time I had planned to be with Helen). I just did San Francisco and Bay Area things.  Saw my old VISTA friends, Pat and Bill.  Lovely reconnection with friends from a time in my life that I remember in sepia shades.  

Steve is planning to retire in March.  He is ending up his career as the manager of the Western Region of Idaho Water Resources.  It is quite hectic for him with lots of challenges at a place he has been working since 1986. I think he will be ending his career with a feeling of satisfaction as well.  It has been quite the journey. He was also elected to the Board of the local Co-op after a blistering campaign. He was on the board once before during a turbulent time in the life of the Boise Co-op. It is a bonanza for us, as we get as 15% discount on our purchases!!

Well, that's it, my peeps.  May all of us find 2015 to be a great and peaceful year.  I'll be continuing on with my normal tirade of Opinions You May or May Not Be Interested In. 

12/27/14  I forgot one thing::::my book loves for 2014.  Okay.  I am not a big reader of non fiction, but I really enjoyed Erik Larson's In the Garden of Beasts. Tells the story of the U.S. ambassador to Germany during Hitler's ascent.  Nasty story because of the topic, but very interesting and well written.  Then I loved two books by JK Rowling Casual Vacancy and then under her pseudonym, Robert Galbraith, Cuckoo's Calling. I also read a book by Isabel Allende called Ripper, a mystery set in San Francisco, which I enjoyed.  I am about to read All the Light We Cannot See, by Anthony Doerr, who lives right here in River City.  I know there were other books I enjoyed, but can't think of them now.  Thanks for a wonderful year of reading all you fabulous writers out there!

Christmas, 2014, minus me. You can note the expert photography skills of yours truly

Christmas, 2014, minus Ashley. Much better photo by Ashley

She Who Must Be Heard

I've been just a tiny bit discouraged lately, what with the events in Ferguson and having seen the documentary about Edward Snowdon just over the weekend. Not sure whether I should flip or fly.  Seems like our country may well collapse under the burden of its racism and a level of espionage and intrigue worthy of a LaCarre novel.  

Maybe some good could come of the unjust grand jury decision in Ferguson, amid the outrage and indifference.  Maybe we could wake up in white America and get that something in our program is just a little bit funky.  It is the legacy of slavery in this country that created the environment that allowed an unarmed black teenager to be shot and killed by a white police officer.  And something is terribly wrong that the police responded to the protests in the aftermath of the shooting with quasi military force. We can't change anything until we look at reality through a clear set of eyeballs.  As long as white people are convinced that we are living in a post racist world, the gross injustice and violence will continue. 

As for the Edward Snowdon thing: Jeez, don't ask me.  George Orwell may have imagined a world in which my stupid emails and phone calls and this blog could be of concern to the federal government, but who'da thunk it would come true.  I have visions of some NSA person saying, "Frank, she's posted another blog.  What a big mouth that woman has." Really, kids??? Just what the hell are we supposed to give up in pursuit of an increasingly elusive sense of "safety"?  

I say this:  Stand up. Speak up and don't ever stop. Write letters and emails. Show up. This democracy can only be take away from us if we allow it.  And white people: start by recognizing that you have privilege not afforded to others. Live in reality.  Painful as it is, it is far better than denial, excuses and bullshit.  

More Wow.

I've often had a very ambivalent feeling about Veteran's Day and felt guilty about it for years.  I worked with veteran's way back for a very brief period.  It was some of the best and most heartfelt work I did in my career and left me with an affinity for veteran's bordering on being kind of sappy. Yet I still had this very ambivalent feeling about Veteran's day.  Then I read this article that was posted on Facebook and previously in Bill Moyer's Journal.  It said what I had never been able to articulate for myself and here it is.  I just kept saying "Wow..." as I read.  I hope you do too.






On This Veteran's Day, You Can Save the Thank Yous 

The Movie, "Pride" and Other Lofty Thoughts

Okay, so I am a fair-weather Giants Fan.  So sue me.  This was taken at a game in September with the Padres that I attended with my brother, Don, just as they were sliding in to win the pennant and go on to the World Series. I love ATT park. It is a beautiful thing in a lovely location. But on to other matters:

So in the 90's some time, I was a member of the Idaho Society for Clinical Social Work.  The national organization with which the local group was affiliated had decided to venture into an experiment by aligning itself with Unions.  The idea was to become a professional guild and throw our lot in with unions in the hopes of expanding our influence and, in the bargain, gain some benefits for members.  Well, the experiment didn't work out, mostly because the benefit part didn't pan out as well as expected.  It was a big disappointment to me when the national group broke ties with the union.  Back then I thought of it as having the potential for great things, as it could have consolidated the profession of social work's influence nationally on issues of social justice. I went to a lot of local union meetings and attended a national meeting.  Anyway the film, "Pride" brought all that back for me.  The movie is the true story of an organization of gays and lesbians  in England who decided to support a Welsh group of striking miners in the mid 1980's.  The story showed how these disparate groups of people with seemingly nothing in common joined together for a common cause.  It's a beautiful story and I highly recommend that you see the movie.  Because it depicts how people didn't miss their chance to join together to get something done.  I don't see that happening today very often. But I dream of a world in which gay rights groups join together with women's groups who join together with people of color and unions and spiritual progressives and groups dedicated to ending hunger and on and on and on.  We have so much more in common than what our differences might be. We could truly change the planet.  Or at least greatly increase our collective compassion and caring for one another, which maybe means the same thing.

Wow!

Okay.  I just read something on Facebook that I must comment on.  I tried to comment but then it looked like it didn't take.  The posting was supposed to be a long diatribe by Bill Cosby about "being tired" everything,  from the government trying to take away his money and give it to people with "no work ethic" to how terrible Muslims are.  And a bunch of other nonsense in between. My comment was "I'll tell you what I'm tired of.  I'm tired of rich people who have had every benefit available from capitalism tell me how tired they are of everything. If Bill Cosby is so damn tired, why doesn't he go take a nap." I guess we have come a long way when rich black folk can talk out of their asses right along side of rich white folk.  This is what people suffered for during the civil rights era I guess.

My question is: When did we become a nation of people who like to blame everybody else for what is wrong with everything.  It's the people with "no work ethic", as if there is a whole class of people out there livin' off the government doing nothing.  In case you weren't looking Bill Cosby and others who think like him, welfare as we know it was pretty much eliminated during the Clinton era.  In Idaho you can get "welfare" but it's something like $250 per month and you have to practically kill yourself for the privilege of receiving it.  It's awful and degrading and anyone who is desperate enough to need it ought to damn well be able to get it without the likes the Bill Cosby's of the world ragging on them about it.  I know this because I made my living knowing it. If Bill or others are talking about people on disability having "no work ethic" then I invite them to live in some country where there is none and then write me a letter about it.  Another object of blame for Mr. Cosby was those nasty Muslims who are doing everything from being responsible for female genital mutilation to somehow making it so that Cosby doesn't have enough to live on in retirement, for chrissake.  If you are dumb enough to think that it is somehow written in the Quaran that females should undergo genital mutilation then I have a bridge I want to sell to you, too.  Genital mutilation has to do with culture, not religion. If we are going to blame Islam for every damn thing wrong in the world then we better not forget about Christianity which has not exactly been the bearer of all things Christlike over the many centuries, in case anyone is wondering.  Case in point: Pat Robertson telling the world  recently that we should not buy towels from Kenya because they carry AIDS.  This is the type of wisdom we have come to expect from so called Christian leadership.  (this was on Facebook, too.  Could be that my source is a little limited and crazy and if so, like Emily Littela, "Well, never mind".)

In summary, for God's Sake, get a grip and get to work making this a better world and quit blaming everybody else for every damn thing that is wrong.(unless, of course it is the stuff I agree with that needs to be blamed)  I have attempted to attach the link here to Cosby's statement.  If you are able to get to it, you will see that Bill is posing for his photo with a nasty looking beard.  I say, get a razor, Bill and quit embarrassing your wife.  

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Living in a Backward, Backwoods State for All My Adult Life!

With the exception of 2 years (1980-1982), I have lived in Idaho my whole adult life.  I have witnessed this state going politically from tolerable to bad to worse. From the days when Cecil Andrus was governor (a centrist almost left leaning Democrat) in the 70's to today's embarrassment of a governor, Butch Otter.  From the great Frank Church to the embarrassment of Jim Risch.  From Richard Stallings to Raul Labrador.  Help me, Jesus.  One could liken spending my adult years in Idaho to the frog in the boiling water, just didn't quite notice the changing political climate until it was too late. When I first came to Idaho in 1972, there was a man named Willie Ludlow who ran for Congress.  He was a lefty of the extreme kind.  Just my kind of political person.  I voted for Shirley Chishom in the '72 caucus right there in Pocatello, Idaho.  Anyway, it's a sad state of affairs when Idaho is kind of the barometer of the political climate of the rest of the country.  We have fallen just that low. 

 Anyway,  all that being said, today marks the first day when LBGT people can get married just like everyone else right here in River City.  And it is because of the courage and perseverance of a group of women who wanted the right to marry and went to court to make it happen.  It certainly didn't happen because the state suddenly found it's heart and it's misplaced sense of justice and good sense. Otter would have fought to the end of time if it wasn't for the fact that he needed to get busy on his millionth run for his office and being the stalwart defender of "traditional marriage" didn't turn out to be the political lynchpin he had hoped it to be.  No, it happened because four same sex couples made it happen. And because it is right.  So what that confirms for me is that when people band together, wondrous things can occur, even in the worst of political climates.  Those women inspire me. Although I do wish that making what is right happen didn't always take such courage and stamina and guts and fight.  We really will overcome someday.  

Reflections on 9/11/01

I guess like everyone, I remember every little thing about where I was and what I was doing on that fateful day.  I remember saying out loud, "The terrorists have already lost because those first responders are going up those stairs when everyone else in the buildings are running in terror to get down them."  God, I never felt prouder to be an American. Really. That day I hugged more strangers than I ever had before or since.  I sat down and cried on the steps of St. John's Cathedral in downtown Boise. I grabbed the hand of a young man and we sat and cried together.I remember thinking that maybe this country will unite in response to the horrific events of that day. And we did for a short time. But of course it didn't last.  And now I think our divisions are even worse than they were then.  The Beloved Community of Martin Luther King's dream seems more and more distant and beyond reach. And the world continues to be threatened by terrorism, maybe more so than then.  

So beyond remembering and honoring the sacrifices of that day, what else?  How do I really honor the people who were sacrificed by a bunch of lunatics bent on murder and destruction? Here's my thought on that: turn the words "remember" and "honor" into action verbs. For me that means doing what I can to uphold what is best about our country and our democracy in an age when the forces are great that want to turn our democracy into an oligarchy. What I want to support and uphold are the values that have to do with civil liberties, the protections of the Bill of Rights, our innate compassion and sense of fairness, our instincts toward inclusion rather than fearful exclusion. These are the values that have always glued us together and will prevail one day I hope. I think that often Americans are perceived as a bunch of spoiled, overly privileged, children by some people around the world and that becomes an exaggerated and distorted viewpoint of persons who join the ranks of terrorists. So my way of honoring and remembering will continue to be to uphold the best in us, the better angels of our natures as our beloved Lincoln once said during another fearful moment in our history.