A conversation I had last night with some young friends caused me to reflect this morning on the nature of evil. They were talking about some, likely, sociopath with grand schemes. The world looks on in horror in the aftermath of the passenger jet shot out of the sky, it would appear, by a bunch of drunken "rebels" in Ukraine. Evil shows up in so many different forms. From the sociopath in our midst with the grand schemes to the violence perpetrated upon the innocent. To the darkness in our own hearts. Makes me think of Yeats poem, "The Second Coming".
"...The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity."
He wrote that poem, I believe about World War I.
"... And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?"
The conversation last night caused me to reflect on my own brush with evil in the form of a charismatic charlaton I met back in the 70's. He was this incrediably good looking man who came up here from California to train a bunch of young naive people working in what was then the substance abuse program through the state Department of Health and Welfare. It was the days of "est" training and all that new age nonsense. He said he had been a trainer for it and we were all wowed by his cliches and bullshit. Eventually he relocated to Idaho and became a bigwig in the Department of Health and Welfare until it was learned that he had lied about his credentials and experience and was subsequently fired. He was one of these terribly seductive people, able to gather a following. I would have gladly followed him right off the end of the Earth, if it hadn't been for the fact that Steve and I had to move out of Boise for Steve to continue school at the University of Idaho. In the ensuing years, I learned more about this guy's shenanigans and subsequent downfall. The evil for me was that I was tempted to give myself away and follow his lead into who knows where. I was so willing to ignore myself and my own deepest instincts. That was a form of evil rearing it's ugly head in my own psyche. My Jungian training and therapy causes me to ask myself the question, "What aspect of myself is the charlaton or the crazy drunken rebels?" Jung wrote that it is the task of this age to find the unity of darkness and light within us. To resist projecting evil onto something out there. In my best moments, I believe that. What do you think?
Wow Linda, I'm glad you didn't follow that impulse! We may not have the blessing and pleasure of your company if you had! Certain people with charm and charisma have the effect of a pied piper and they are really good at generating a following. People with charisma are highly suspect in my mind now. Maybe the pendulum has swung way to one side, but better that than letting some guy in a pulpit have any say in my life.
ReplyDeleteThe reason I say that is your story reminds me of our choice to stay in a church for 20 years led by a somewhat charismatic leader, where everyone is encouraged to serve one family while being led to believe that service is to God. We are taught in Christian church culture that submission to (what they say is) God-given authority is God's will and best and safe for your life. We eventually woke up and saw that the Bible merely teaches we should submit one to another giving preference to the each other. Of course that eliminates the need to follow someone who leads us to believe he/she has a corner on God more than any other - and it puts us all on equal footing. It took us awhile to discover that the ones who are teaching on authority are the ones who want to assume power over others. Then we had to realize if we give people our power, it keeps us from growing up and assuming full responsibility for our own lives and actions.
There was something in us that wanted to stay in that culture or we wouldn't have stayed so long, so we can own up to our own part in that. But there are those who are really good at perpetuating beliefs, that manipulate the hearts of others for their own gain. That is their evil, if it is some pied piper desire to gather people around them, so I don't feel to assume responsibility for that.
Now that we are on the other side of that world, our lives feel so much lighter and freer and it feels good to know it's a result of a choice we made as grownups. We still believe in God and Jesus but it's much more personal and our spirituality isn't dictated by a community that allows a man to do their thinking for them. Every once in awhile - like once a week! - we lament and feel embarrassed it took 20 years to come to this, but we are also grateful it wasn't more than that. Not that we have all the answers or even know what we are doing, but at least we are living our own lives and are happy to be more available for and connected to our families.
Thanks, Nanc. I know that your journey with all of this has been a mighty one. I too can look back and cringe at other times I have given away my authority to others. I kinda hope I am over that in my ripe old age.
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